Having a family was always a priority for Alex and Richard, so much so that the couple talked about it on their third date.
“I remember us sitting in front of a carousel in San Francisco with the music in the background,” Alex said. “I knew I wanted kids and so did Richard—but we both wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”
Alex and Richard met in 2005 in New York and had a long distance relationship for more than a year before Richard moved from San Francisco to Brooklyn. The cross-country distance meant the couple had to quickly define their priorities and at the top of the list was knowing they were on a path to parenthood.
Alex and Richard started the journey to building a family in 2011 by signing up with a San Francisco-based adoption agency. After a year of taking courses, attending workshops and meeting with social workers, the couple was qualified to adopt. Then they waited for 10 months before being notified that they had matched with a birth mother.
“For me the most surprising part of the adoption process was getting to know our birth mother and understanding the process from her perspective,” Alex said. “I felt so lucky to have another perspective, and it was comforting to know we were all scared by what lied ahead.”
Alex and Richard’s daughter Abby was born in April 2013 and the new family has settled into a routine that includes play dates, art and music classes and lots of dirty diapers – although that is changing now that Abby is learning to use her potty.
“We are so excited to be dads,” Richard said. “And it’s so important for us to be part of the growing community of gay dads. We’ve grown along with our friends and that’s really special.”